Troi
It's funny. When I was a little girl, I used to sit and play for hours.
Sometimes, I would close my eyes and imagine the man of my
dreams. He would be tall with skin the color of a chocolate bar and
of course he would be fine. We would sit laughing and talking for
hours about any and everything. If we were mad with one another,
he would whisper how sorry he was into my ear. I’d smile then we’d
kiss and make up.
Back then, I ain't know a damn thing about sex. My idea of sex was
tongue kissing with your eyes closed. Man oh man was I naive. One
time my friend Leslie had my stupid butt believing that I was
pregnant. I told that fool that Craig and I were under the stairs. I'd
let him feel my breasts while we were kissing because he let me feel
his "thang" as we used to call it. He started breathing heavy and
that's when he stuck his tongue in my mouth. I popped my eyes open
so fast that it scared him. After telling Leslie what had happened,
she told me that if my period didn't come the next month that I was
pregnant and since he was touching my breasts I was probably going
to have twins. Needless to say, my period did not come. I was so
scared to tell my mother. I just knew that she was going to freak
out. When I finally found the courage to tell her, she just laughed.
"Troi, you haven't even started your period. That's why it isn’t here yet.
Besides, it takes more than a kiss to get you pregnant, Sweet Pea." Of
course, now I know better.
Well, I did kind of marry the man of my dreams. He is tall and he is
attractive but he's not chocolate. I guess two out of three isn't bad.
When we first met, we used to laugh and talk all the time. Now,
whenever he is here, he's in one room and I am usually in another.
It’s like he doesn't have much to say to me anymore. He actually
spends most of his time at the office. He calls it "climbing the
corporate ladder." I call it "bullshit." I didn't marry him for his
money because he didn't have any. Besides, I don't get off on titles.
Shit, if he needs a title he can be the "President and Co-founder of the
Jones Marriage Foundation." I married him because I was in love
with him. The sad thing is he doesn't even see that. His momma
won't allow him to see it. She keeps such a tight reign on him. That
witch is determined to be the number one woman in his life and is
probably glad that he's leaving me. All I know is I'm not going to
beg him to stay. You know how someone is dead set on doing
something so you just let them go ahead and do it because they're
going to do it anyway.
Well, that's what I'm going through right now. That is exactly why
I am sitting on the foot of my bed watching the man of my dreams
walk out of the door with his suitcases in his hands. Then again, if
he were the man of my dreams he wouldn't be walking out on me,
now would he? Thing is, there really isn't a damn thing I can do
about it. My heart is saying, "Set a caged bird free. If it comes back,
then it's yours to keep. If it doesn't come back, it was never truly
yours." Now, my mind on the other hand is saying, "Hell with that
bird crap. Don't let that nigga go. Tell him to put his shit down and
stop playing wit somebody."
